IT Wars
by ruk182
Summary: What happens when the IT guys we know and love meet the IT guys from the company across the street? It's time for full out war! Umm, haitus? IDK, I'm sorry...
1. The Other IT Guys

No movement. Not a sound was to be heard in the office.

Moss slowly made his way through the cluttered IT room to join Roy, who stood at the other side of the room, glaring out the window - his nostrils flaring, face red. He looked through across the street at the window peering into the basement of one of their competing companies. They saw the solemn face of a young man – he must have been in his early twenties – staring back expressionlessly. He had dirty blonde hair, and blue eyes. They could see his navy blue hockey jacket, and he wasn't tanned, but he wasn't pale either.

As Moss had joined Roy, a young Asian woman – same age as the man – joined him, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She had black hair with distinctive blue streaks pulled up into a messy bun. After she began to stare, she didn't move a muscle. Not even to blink, like her companion, putting Moss and Roy's glaring to shame. They made intimidating looks an art form.

The two of them heard a shuffling noise as Jan snuck behind them and tapped on their shoulders, asking them politely to go back to work, as the noise of phones filled their ears once more. As they turned to leave, the last thing they saw was a shorter young man with medium length, shinning, dark brown hair leading the other man and woman away from their window. They returned to their desk, and resumed their answering of the phones with their "Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?"s as if everything was as it had always as it had been.

But nothing would ever be the same. Ever...

* * *

Things moved sluggishly slow in the office; minutes became hours, hours became days, and everyday became its own year. The clock seemed to moved slower and slower, and Moss could have sworn he'd seen it move backwards a few times.

A heavy sigh resonated off the walls of the tiny room, and Roy and Moss turned to the door. There stood the goth they had not seen for years, his frown along with the bags under his eyes and his heavy make-up all in place.

"Richmond!" cried Jen, rushing out of her office. "We thought you were dead!"

"I was on holiday..." he replied sadly, looking off into the distance.

"For two years?" Richmond nodded. "If you don't mind me asking, Richmond, where DO goths go on holiday?"

"Oh, you know..." he began, obviously having no intention of finishing.

Jen shook her head. "No, I don't." Richmond continued to stare ahead, begining to annoy Jen. She followed his gaze to the ceiling, once more questioning his sanity.

"Someone was here," he whispered, pointing at small pink feather stuck to ceiling. He sniffed the air. "Still here."

Roy and Moss gasped. "The Other IT Guys..." Moss jumped up and ran into the other small room, yanking open the refridgerator.

"My apple is gone!"

"Congradulations, Maurice." A loud cruch echoed throught the office, as everyone turned the couch, where a young woman sat. She had long and messy dark brown hair, and her hazel eyes were surrounded by thick black eyeliner. Her nails were painted black, she was wearing a layered black dress, and fishnet stockings and arm warmers with spider shapes cut out. She was incredibly pale, but you could tell it was natural. Upon her head sat a bright pink feather hat. A small trail of juice leaked from her colored dark scarlet lips.

"If you're one of the other IT guys, you better get out of here!" warned Jen, as she had met her double as she came into work this morning. She wasn't very comfortable with the idea of people just like them.

"I'm just here to deliver a message from my coworkers," the woman said plainly. She spoke in a accent quite similar to Roy's.

"Why should we listening to an amateur?" demanded Richmomd, eyeing her pink hat. "You dress like a child."

"I demand not thy opinions, simply a short amount of thy time. If thou shalt provide me with permission..." She bowed, waiting for a response.

"Go on, then," Jen said. "Start with your name."

"Dante McQuillen, m'mam," Dante replied, curtsying. "May I have yours?"

"Jen Barber."

"Roy Tenneman."

"Maurice Moss."

"R-"

"Richmond Avenal. Yes, I know you." Dante slowly walked over to him. She was a good deal shorter, and had to stand on her tipy-toes in order to whisper something in his ear. The other watched as his sad face filled with horror, and he scrunched up his shoulders and shook her away. He clutched his chest where his heart pounded heavily and cried out. She back away and hissed loudly, her tongue weaving in and out of her mouth. "Be warned: the IT war has begun..."

She threw her arm down and a puff of smoke rose up. The four of them coughed as the dust filled their lungs. Once it had cleared, Dante had dissapeared, but they could her her laughter and she ran down the hall. They turned to where Richmond laid sprawled upon the ground questioningly. A small moan escaped his lips.

"This isn't good," he muttered. "We're doomed. This is the end. We're going to die."

* * *

"So, we have to assume battle possition," declaired Jen.

"Battle possition?"

"Yeah, don't you guys have one?"

Roy seemed to shudder and put an incredible amount of expression on his response, "No! Nothing like this has ever happened before!" His face went red as his voice was high pitched, the well known sing of panic.

"What's that?" Moss pointed at the window where the three of them could see a rapidly approaching, small dark object.

"Smoke bomb! Take cover!" They ran and burst through the red door, crashing into poor Richmond. As the four of them laid sprawled upon the ground, they heard the sound of the window breaking, the complete silence.

Jen, who was on top of the others, slowly raised her head to look 'round. She arose cautiously and went back out and gazed at rock on the floor. There was a note attached, which she gently took off and read aloud, "I know where you sleep, Jen Barber." The group crowded around the window across the street to see the eyes of who they knew to be the head of the other IT department. "Signed, Possum Ezeequil."

"Shit just went down, bitch!" Possum cried at them, his laughter loud and obnoxious. Jen crumpeled the paper in her hands, her hand with the rock wound up. Not realising what she was doing, she screamed and threw it out the broken window. They heard his cry seconds later as the rock made contact with his forehead.

* * *

"This'll be a nice addition to my collection," whispered Dante, snatching a butterfly out of the air above her. She slowly tore the colorful wings of, slipping them in her pocket. Moss and Roy winced.

"Well, he'll be okay, but..." began Beaver, the brains of the other departement, brushing his dirty blonde hair from his face.

"I should still murder you in you dreams tonight," interupted Dante, her voice cold. "I'll invade your mind and devour your soul." She carried a large black umbrella, sheilding her from the sun.

"Be warned, I plan on attacking next."

"What?" asked Richmond jokingly. He had joined Dante under umbrella, having explained earlier he had forgotten his own. "Will you attempt to send us on a guilt trip by topping yourself?"

Dante's face went red at his comment, and whispered through clenched teeth, "I have a knife. In my bag. Right now. I was saving it for myself, I really wanted to keep it clean. But perhaps it would do more good if it were to found deep within your chest."

"So you cut yourself, really I can't-" Dante's fist seemed to come out of nowhere, hitting his nose with a good amount of force. He tumbled to the ground, blood pouring from his now crooked nose as one of the paramedics from before rushed to his side. Dante smiled as they anounced it was broken.

Kneeling over him, she laughed, and turned to everyone else. "Let that be the end to the rumor that goths are weak." She placed her fingers on his nose. The coldness numbed it imeadiately. She removed her fingers and stuck them in her mouth, licking off all the blood, moaning in pleasure.

"Come on, gang, let's go back inside," encouraged Zero, the other female. Her dark brown eyes sparkled as they caught the light.

"A moment, my friend," demanded Dante, not taking her eyes off the bloody mess before her. "I'm dreadfully sorry, Mr. Avenal sir. But I must inform you, your blood is quite tasty." She got up and smiled. "We will meet again soon, il mio uomo bello di emozioni."


	2. Hacked

A/N: Sorry this may seem a bit rushed, but hey! It's something...  
This one's for DeathAndKitties

* * *

Jen sat on the couch trying to keep silent. She kept turning towards the guys as if she was going to say something, but stopped herself each time.

"For God's sake woman!" Jen glared at Roy.

"Well, it's just that it bothers me that you guys aren't doing anything. I mean, Richmond had to take the day off because of them! We've got to do something."

"You did hit that guy in the face with that brick, Jen," said Roy, joining her on the couch. "You're lucky they're not going to the police or something." Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Moss raise his hand in the air timidly. "What is it, Moss?"

"Well, I was just thinking... maybe we could hack into their computers. Give them a real tough life for a few days!" he suggested excitedly.

"You know what, Moss? That might be stupid enough to work!"

* * *

"I feel bad. Really bad. Downright awful. Punch myself in the face awful. Cut my own head off and chop it up into little pieces and shove 'em down my own throat guilty," muttered Dante, rolling around on the floor on her stomach. Beaver stepped over her and made his way across their own cluttered IT room to the door to put on his coat.

"Oi, where are you going?" called Zero, not looking up from her Japanese comic magazine, Shonen Jump.

"Unlike you three, I've got a thing called a life," he replied.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I mean," continued Dante from the floor, "I broke the enemy's nose, and now I feel guilty!"

"Really though?"

"No, there's a Dragon's Den marathon on starting in half an hour and I don't want to miss it," he admitted.

"Did you see how much blood there was? Maybe I should bake him some cookies..."

"That's a little..."

"Hey, I've got my television and computers, you've got your manga, Possum has his precious social life and so called 'friends', and Dante has her... depression I guess. I'm not going to question anyone's activities, and I suggest you do the same."

"What's the point anymore?" Dante called. "What's the point of anything anymore? It makes no sense. It all seems to go your way until- BAM! It throws you to the side of the road like a couple of cruel parents!

"Well, mum is waiting, so I've got to go. See you guys tomorrow." He tried to take the last step out the door but Dante had grabbed hold of his leg.

"Don't leave me here alone in this cruel world! Stay with me forever! I never want to be left by myself in my cold flat! Take me home to your mother, we could get married and live in a little house by the river. Just don't leave me to the dogs in this cold, cruel-"

"Oh, shut up!" cried Zero. "You're bringing everyone down. Go home or something. I don't care. You're no use to us anyway, you... useless thing."

* * *

Richmond- his nose all wrapped up in clean white bandages- walked out into the IT room as the others were settling down for lunch, a delightful smell following closely behind. He clutched a container to his chest for a dear life, not letting anyone see its contents.

"What's in the container?" asked Roy.

"Get off my back!" he cried, taking off at full speed for the elevators, pushing the button repeatedly. The doors finally opened (partially) and he squeezed in, pushing the button to close the doors. They finally slid close and he settled down on the floor and opened the container and grabbed a cookie. He noticed a note and took it out as well.

"What does it say?" asked Roy from behind him. He spun around to see him standing with Moss at his side. He chewed his cookie and swallowed hard.

"I'll never read it."

"Don't make me touch your nose!" Moss glared at him in a very unintimidating- nearly cute- manner.

"'From mum, lots of love.' Funny, mum never made cookies... her writing didn't look like they either." Roy and Moss looked at each other with puzzled expressions. "Plus I suppose she's dead..."

"Well, I'm sure if she had been alive, she would've wanted us to have a cookie or two or three as well," Roy said, reaching in and pulling out a couple for him and Moss, though his companion simply sniffed it. A look of alarm flashed on his face as he tried to stop Roy from taking a bite. Too late. He took a big bite and sighed lightly. "These are quite good..." Moss just shook his head in disappointment.

* * *

"Where have you been?" asked Zero as Dante tried to sneak past her.

"Well, I left Richmond some trick cookies and left note saying they were from his mum. I put in a laxative, as well as some hot sauce. I hope he's okay... And then I stopped at a nice restaurant and got lunch, as well as some snacks for everyone."

"Well done," congratulated Beaver from his own desk.

"I think it's up to the two of us to make a move in bat-"

"Damn it! I don't know what's going on." Beaver was now clicking frantically, occasionally typing in something. "All my files are gone. Just gone. They've all disappeared!"

"Huh, blue screen," muttered Zero. "That's definitely not good either. I think we've been hacked."

"You don't say. But I never get hacked I've got passwords all through my system... and... Only a true genius could've managed this complete hard drive clean wipe."

* * *

"I swear, I popped out for a coffee, and you've gone and completely wiped someone's system?" asked Roy in awe.

"Two people's system, actually," said Moss, sitting back in his chair, a smug look of satisfaction spreading across his face.

"That's fan- Oh, I really have to go to the toilet all of a sudden. I'll be back."

"When will he ever learn?"


End file.
